There are many reasons to marry. Beware of scope creep. I need to remind myself sometimes that I married for love, not for a better place to live or help paying the bills or higher status or more sex. I didn’t need or want citizenship in another country. I didn’t…
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My first husband and I did this entirely by accident, and now I highly recommend it, even though he did not survive to enjoy the date, and I am happily remarried to someone very different. Who will celebrate with you? It’s likely your parents and perhaps even some of your…
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S Snarky comments about your wife or husband never make a marriage happier or stronger…not even if you share them only with your friends. AssumeLove.com – celebrating our 18th anniversary today. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
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When you married, your spouse seemed perfect. Since then, you’ve discovered an upsetting habit. Or she’s given up vegan for keto. Or he’s stopped exercising and put on 60 pounds. Maybe Mr. Chill loses his cool when job stress goes up. Or perimenopause has messed with her libido. Or perhaps…
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I was reminded again last week about something a client taught me long ago. Some of us make our decisions out loud. Others don’t speak until they have a decision to announce. And boy do we confuse each other! For those who make up their minds in private, a comment…
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Tunnel vision is like looking through an empty paper towel roll. You still see things, but you don’t see all of your options. And it will sneak up on you. In my first marriage, I wanted to take ballroom dance classes. We were young. We were invited to many weddings…
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The summer after my sophomore year in college, I followed the man I’d met and fallen in love with ten weeks earlier to Bakersfield. We were talking at the park and found ourselves planning a fun 50th anniversary celebration. Only then did it occur to us that we were going…
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June brings lots of anniversaries. If you’re wondering how to let your husband or wife feel your love, I want to help. Q. If I take my wife away for a just-us weekend, do I also need an anniversary gift? A. Etiquette does not apply to a marriage. Neither does…
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Who put the government in charge of marriage? Why do we need a license to marry? Why do we need a judge to divorce? In the US and quite possibly every other country, the government decides who is married and who is not. And it really doesn’t care whether you…
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Respect is just as important as love for a healthy marriage, and maybe even more important. Contempt (the opposite of respect, reflected in eye-rolling, a wrinkled nose, or a “yeah, right”) is a clear sign your marriage is in trouble, according to John Gottman, one of the best-known relationship researchers.…